It’s best to be aware of the self because like Dr. Phil or Oprah said the other day,”Nobody can make you lose what you already have.”

At first, when I heard them say this I thought yes they can. I can have myself and lose me in a relationship, but thinking about it now, I think well, wait…. I am sound in mind and spirit, I don’t lose myself, I am always aware of where I am and what I’m doing… although the saying is a cliche term used way to often… I am who I am. I’m me; I’m here; I’m not and have never been lost. What I did in finding a bad relationship is find something I didn’t need and tried to make it fit into my world.

Some men, no matter who the woman in their life is at the time, are going through shit. Shit smells! It stinks to the point of inducing nausea, it makes you not want to eat.

If you stepped in shit, you wouldn’t say, “G-d this is awful let me change the way I dress to make it be better or let me try to look at it from the perspective of someone else to make sure it stinks. You wouldn’t say maybe if my ass was 15 lbs lighter, the shit wouldn’t stink, and why is that? It’s because shit stinks, no matter what is done and when someone else is going through it or stepping in it, you’d be damned to stay in the same room as them, allow them to wipe it on you or allow them to convince you that it’s because of you, that shit stinks on their particular shoe.
This is men when they’re going through shit and unfortunately we as women are ruminators when it comes to our relationships, and we’ve been trained to be caregivers who should do all we can to fix our troubled relationships, like it’s our job to save it and make it work.

The responsibility, we take into our own hands, alone, like we are the only one’s who are there to serve a purpose in maintaining the functionality of the match.
We are not to take that sort of responsibility, because it is fruitless and dangerous to the psyche.

Tell me something, when is the last time someone stepped in shit and you said, I know that really stinks and if you walked around like that the rest of your life, it’d be horrible for you and me, so let me bend over backwards and gag to wipe it off for you. It’s my job and our relationship is doomed if I don’t.” ? I’m sorry when is the last time someone did that for you?

Maybe your mom or dad did this for you before you were 6 years old, but guess what, not after, and if you decided to walk around with shit on your foot as an adult you parents who gave you life would say, I love you, but I don’t want to be with while you are going though this shitty phase cause it stinks, and you sure as hell better not stepping foot into the house wearing those shoes.

If you really love someone or care for them, even as a friend, you tell them the truth, “That shit on you shoe stinks, you need to fix that, but I’m not touching it!”

And if they respect you, value your friendship, or treasure your opinion,and they are logical, responsible adults, they will handle their problem themselves and see you when the mess has been disposed of.

If a person in your life doesn’t feel that way or act that way, they should no longer be a person in your life.

Nobody wants to be friends with the smelly kid in the class and rightfully so, they would make everything that is supposed to be good in life, just stink.

What do you do with the trash cans when they smell? Exactly what you should do with a guy/girl who puts you in the grey when s/he is stepping in shit that causes life to stink…..

DUMP THEM!!!!!!!!

I’ve been here and done it and have the “bling” to prove it. Until you walk down the middle of the church etc., live it up and enjoy the fact that you are single; that is why there is no other middle of the road term for what you are doing. You live together, but unless he’s your baby daddy, “boyfriend” is all the title he gets and the only rights he’s entitled to.

Don’t give your man more power than he’s asked for? Men love sports and games because of the challenge. Don’t be the video game that he’s played every inch of and won, because those video game don’t get the same attention as they did in the beginning: They get stored away never to be given to anyone else or thrown away, but one thing is for sure, guys always move on to playing a new game that challenges them.

You better think about being Madden 2009 the Same Game he love to play, but the new edition, the game he can’t wait to purchase, but he doesn’t own!

More importantly try to deal with the logic of it all as opposed to what you feel, b/c what you feel is not what is. It is the difference between facts and opinions. If calling him your boyfriend is starting to not match-up with what it is, why isn’t it something else, more or less? Answer this question for yourself, don’t ask anyone else what they think for 7 days. Are you getting what you want? Is it really a matter of a title or is there a deeper issue here? Only you know! Get real with yourself, cause only you can guarantee yourself a honest answer.

Take heed of what I’m telling you, you’re in your valued years here Good Luck and Many blessing in whatever direction you go!