This problem of not being able to make a choice, a commitment to an idea, topic or overall thesis statement kept me from getting past the very first step to creating a paper. My teacher at the time, whom I didn’t really like too much said to me, “You can’t finish this paper if you never start!” and although this seems like the most obvious thing, for me, the statement was ground breaking. I could never start because I was too worried about the outcome of my choice and I would never be able to truly judge the outcome if I never had one. I suffered from, what one person in my life later referred to as, “Analysis Paralysis.” I was too busy trying to be perfect, to actually make any movements at all.

Analysis Paralysis leads to a lot of thinking and very little action, thereby causing every single action you try to take, only take longer and as an effect you find that you finish task just before the bell or even more stressful, too late.

To solve my problem for the thesis paper, I had to solve my two problems and I did. First, I needed to truly come to understand the structure of the thesis paper (do your research), and second, I needed to just do it..start writing, something, anything, everything and weed through it later,( Just try something, GET STARTED! ASAP! commit an action, MAKE a MOVE!). If what I had done didn’t fit, I had time to fix it later unlike when I spent most of my time on thought.

I would type out a bunch of quotes from the books that would seem to fit my topic, things that might be what I was looking for and then at the end I would sift through everything and piece things together to see if they were any good. After I’d gathered the information or the meat of my work, I would come up with a thesis and a title for the dish (the paper). Although here was more action involved, it was easier than trying to guess somewhat blindly. Making a choice without action is like trying to decide if you like the taste of a food by simply looking at it. It cannot be done, although may people convince themselves that it can; one can only guess or infer.

Making a choice is something like coming up with a thesis, you won’t know what the best choice is until you have put some actions behind your thoughts and check out the end result.

For each task, the end result may be different but the concept is the same: Action is required to get started. All of the thinking in the world is meaningless without actions to manifest those thoughts and a postponed choice leads to postponed actions while postponed actions are a sure way to fall short of meeting a deadline.

Figuring out how to get around your dilemma is up to you, but I think joining a community of people who are about moving forward and progressive actions is a good first active step!

For those of you who have not joined yet, click here: www.20somethingUniversity.com

Making a choice is easier said than done, but a result is gaurateed if you make a choice or let it make you.

It’s best to be aware of the self because like Dr. Phil or Oprah said the other day,”Nobody can make you lose what you already have.”

At first, when I heard them say this I thought yes they can. I can have myself and lose me in a relationship, but thinking about it now, I think well, wait…. I am sound in mind and spirit, I don’t lose myself, I am always aware of where I am and what I’m doing… although the saying is a cliche term used way to often… I am who I am. I’m me; I’m here; I’m not and have never been lost. What I did in finding a bad relationship is find something I didn’t need and tried to make it fit into my world.

Some men, no matter who the woman in their life is at the time, are going through shit. Shit smells! It stinks to the point of inducing nausea, it makes you not want to eat.

If you stepped in shit, you wouldn’t say, “G-d this is awful let me change the way I dress to make it be better or let me try to look at it from the perspective of someone else to make sure it stinks. You wouldn’t say maybe if my ass was 15 lbs lighter, the shit wouldn’t stink, and why is that? It’s because shit stinks, no matter what is done and when someone else is going through it or stepping in it, you’d be damned to stay in the same room as them, allow them to wipe it on you or allow them to convince you that it’s because of you, that shit stinks on their particular shoe.
This is men when they’re going through shit and unfortunately we as women are ruminators when it comes to our relationships, and we’ve been trained to be caregivers who should do all we can to fix our troubled relationships, like it’s our job to save it and make it work.

The responsibility, we take into our own hands, alone, like we are the only one’s who are there to serve a purpose in maintaining the functionality of the match.
We are not to take that sort of responsibility, because it is fruitless and dangerous to the psyche.

Tell me something, when is the last time someone stepped in shit and you said, I know that really stinks and if you walked around like that the rest of your life, it’d be horrible for you and me, so let me bend over backwards and gag to wipe it off for you. It’s my job and our relationship is doomed if I don’t.” ? I’m sorry when is the last time someone did that for you?

Maybe your mom or dad did this for you before you were 6 years old, but guess what, not after, and if you decided to walk around with shit on your foot as an adult you parents who gave you life would say, I love you, but I don’t want to be with while you are going though this shitty phase cause it stinks, and you sure as hell better not stepping foot into the house wearing those shoes.

If you really love someone or care for them, even as a friend, you tell them the truth, “That shit on you shoe stinks, you need to fix that, but I’m not touching it!”

And if they respect you, value your friendship, or treasure your opinion,and they are logical, responsible adults, they will handle their problem themselves and see you when the mess has been disposed of.

If a person in your life doesn’t feel that way or act that way, they should no longer be a person in your life.

Nobody wants to be friends with the smelly kid in the class and rightfully so, they would make everything that is supposed to be good in life, just stink.

What do you do with the trash cans when they smell? Exactly what you should do with a guy/girl who puts you in the grey when s/he is stepping in shit that causes life to stink…..

DUMP THEM!!!!!!!!

We are constantly faced with the opportunity to guide our live toward what we desire or away from what we dislike, however we are sometimes unsure what moves to make to get us what we are searching for. We are fearful of making to wrong decision and that can lead to “Analysis Paralysis” the act of sitting around and allowing our lack of a choice to be the choice itself, no movement, but waiting for like to make us instead of us doing something to make a like we appreciate. The situation is however unavoidable; no matter if it’s something you have to do or something you want to do, one of the few things in life you will not be able to avoid is the need to make choices and naturally have the desire for those decisions to lead you to positive, and personally profitable results. Figuring out what choice is going to get you where you want to go can be tough and knowing who to talk to about is often even tougher. That is why I am here to give you a non-bias ear and help you to filter through the funk that can cloud our abilities to make healthy choices.

When going through life’s transitional periods, it is often like driving a car up hill in the rain on a bumpy road. It is hard to see what’s on the other side of the hill. It’s scary because the conditions are tougher than normal, an you can’t seem to move at the pace you are used to. It seems like the uncomfortable or challenging elements are keeping you from getting where you want to go and even worse is that the conditions are slowing you down and making your drive We will work through the rain together until the sun shines light on your situation and you feel ready to play, the game of life that is, picking cards from the deck and feeling confident that you can handle whatever you encounter.

When you are feeling a bit stuck in your decision making process or simply your way of life and you want to seek change, just do it... Ask Sherrae.

Thank you for joining us! We hope that you will ” Give us What You Got” making post and commenting because we are all about communicating for positive changes as a whole and individual progress.  Help us to create a space we will all love and enjoy!  As a whole we are ” 20 Somethings and the City and our ” Futures so bright, I gotta wear shades”.

Sherrae

Sherrae

www.BapLiving.com